Slow Close Toilet Seats: How to Save a Blind Person’s Ears

Being blind means my other senses are heightened, specifically sound, more specifically, when my wife closes the toilet seat with the same disdain she uses to slam a car door after discovering Trader Joe’s is out of coconut water.

Initially my solution was to ask my wife to close the toilet seat more gently, which worked on occasion. But, a gentle toilet seat close every now and then cannot make up for the number of accidental toilet seat slams that continued to disrupt my day.

The next solution? Slow close toilet seats. I found the basic slow close toilet seat I’ve grown to love and use in various apartments over the years. After sending the link to my wife for aesthetic approval, I discovered our home could not “settle” for a simple slow close toilet seat. Instead, a 2 day quest through all of Amazon and the internet was implemented by said wife to discover the only cute slow close toilet seat she would approve of.

Enter the “Oyster Shell No Slam Toilet Seat“, the answer to my toilet slamming prayers and my wife’s need to keep the aesthetics on point. At $86 per seat, this cute slow close toilet seat is by no means a money saving tactic, but the subtle, barely there sound, of the slow close seat is saving my ears, and for that, they are worth every penny.

Due to the price, we started with one slow close toilet seat for the main bathroom, before realizing this was the only way to move forward. We quickly bought three more oyster shell slow close seats for our other bathrooms and haven’t looked back.

Pros:

1. I no longer have to cringe each time my wife slams the toilet seat closed; no matter how hard she slams it or drops the toilet seat, it closes with a smooth, soft close each time.
2. The seat has a nice weight to it, and blends with every bathroom.
3. Our slow close toilet seats have become conversation starters with first time viewers/bathroom users.
4. My sister in law thinks it is “fancy, over the top, and interesting in a good way”.

Cons:

1. Your friends may be jealous.
2. Your friends may make fun of you for spending $86 on a slow close toilet seat.
3. We do need to tighten the seats every few months – just a few quick turns to the screws under the seat does the trick.

If you’re looking for something a little less pricey but just as fun, we did also try the Red Marble Toilet Seat. It has the same slow close offering but with an added pop of color.